I attempted the Mel's Diner Mega Mel... and... well... why rush to the end,,, As you all know, This past Saturday, February 9th, 2013, at 2pm CST, I attempted the Mega Mel Challenge. The challenge: if you consume the entire Mega Mel burger along with trimmings in two hours, your name will be inscribed on Mel's wall of glory... and the honored dead of Skyrim will sing songs of you in Sovngarde. Well, the Sovngarde stuff is my embellishment... but I guarantee it will be so if you finish this culinary monster.
Mel's diner... actually, Mel's Country Cafe is located at 24814 STANOLIND RD about one hour and 20 minutes from downtown Houston. The drive out was an enjoyable trip. I kept thinking of my plan. I had only had one meal the day before. I stayed up later so that I cold sleep in on Saturday and easily skip breakfast. Needless to say, I was very hungry when I got to the cafe.
Evidence to Mel's popularity, the place was packed, but the wait was not very long. Several friends, family members, and even a friend from work showed up, but seating was difficult that day due to the crowd. My friend from work, and my sister are regulars, and they were surprised to see it so full, but, though I would have like for all of us to have sat together, I am glad that the diner was crowded, because Mel's Country Cafe deserves to be very popular and do good business... they take food seriously. If you are anywhere in Northwest Houston, you HAVE to try Mel's. My sister got the fried catfish... and when I got a whiff of it, and saw the huge portion, I sort of wished I was getting that.. then they brought a chicken frined steak to another table.. and I wished I was getting that... I will be going back... quite a bit... it will be worth the drive... and they have many country dishes I HAVE TO TRY.
Then my Mega Mel arrived... the Mega Mel Burger is 1.5 pounds of juicy ground meat divided into five patties (if memory serves). between each burger is a slice of cheese that melts and coats each patty in cheesy glaze. Atop these patties is a pound of bacon... not the paper thin bacon you get with breakfast at your typical greasy spoon... this is a pound of thick cut Texas bacon. The meat sits upon a shredded head of lettuce, about one and a half sliced tomatoes and onions and pickles. The bun is pretty much just for show... but you still got to eat it.
I had not really been daunted until I saw it.. it was indeed huge... the first true Mega ANYTHING I had ever seen that deserved the name... but I had my plan.
I slowly removed the saber-like tooth picks and slid the meat to its own plate. My idea was to eat as fast as I could; thinking I could 'pshyc out' my stomach... This was a mistake. I can eat A LOT of food... ask anyone who knows me. I often try not to eat large amounts of food, because I'm a tad heavier than I should be, but when I get in my groove, I can eat some food. I should not have changed that. I should have trusted my groove. I grabbed two burger patties an wolfed them down really fast. Then I ate some bacon. During all this time I'm chewing faster than I usually do, and I'm chewing a lot. I had not expected the bacon to be so thick. I had to chew a lot on it. Then, I ate some lettuce and tomato. Next, I made another 'sandwich' with lettuce, tomato and bacon, using burger patties as a bun. I started trying to eat this as fast as I could, and then it hit.. the wall... my jaw was killing me, and my stomach started to let me know that it was not happy. At that point I knew I wasn't going to make it. My brother-in-law says I made it about a third of the way through, and I will defer to his assessment, I wasn't really paying attention... It seemed that the more I chewed the more there was yet to chew... it didn't seem to me that I was even making a dent. Fifteen minutes in.. I threw in the towel, and the Mega Mel Burger had beaten me... but it was a lot of fun, and I was glad to have been able to share this friends and family.
